Winter III. Personal charity + This & that

Intro & Preface & Contents

Previous: Winter II. Ways of seeing

It is a pleasant thing enough to be able to spend a little money without fear when the desire for some indulgence is strong upon one; but how much pleasanter the ability to give money away! Greatly as I relish the comforts of my wonderful new life, no joy it has brought me equals that of coming in aid to another’s necessity. The man for ever pinched in circumstances can live only for himself. It is all very well to talk about doing moral good; in practice, there is little scope or hope for anything of that kind in a state of material hardship. To-day I have sent S----- a checque for fifty pounds; it will come as a very boon of heaven, and assuredly blesseth him that gives as much as him that takes. A poor fifty pounds, which the wealthy fool throws away upon some idle or base fantasy, and never thinks of it; yet to S----- it will mean life and light. And I, to whom this power of benefaction is such a new thing; sign the checque with a hand trembling, so glad and proud I am. In the days gone by, I have sometimes given money, but with trembling of another kind; it was as likely as not that I myself, some black foggy morning, might have to go begging for my own dire needs. That is one of the bitter curses of poverty; it leaves no right to be generous. Of my abundance -- abundance to me, though starveling pittance in the view of everyday prosperity -- I can give with happiest freedom; I feel myself a man, and no crouching slave with his back ever ready for the lash of circumstance. There are those, I know, who think the gods amiss, and most easily does this happen in the matter of wealth. But oh, how good it is to desire little, and to have a little more than enough!

Charity.

I have always given a certain percentage of my income to charity (and when income was lean, I’ve still given as much of what I normally gave as possible), and I fully appreciate and agree with what he says here. Whether Gissing was ever in the financial position of Henry Ryecroft is another question.

Changes.

My domestic arrangements have altered of late. Esperanza only comes in twice a week now, and she doesn’t do the laundry or shopping, or any meal preparation. I realized this was just overkill for my little place and modest needs -- and the shopping was more trouble than it was worth for Esperanza. Now I order my marketing online and have it delivered along with the occasional meal -- you can do almost everything online these days. I even have someone pick-up and deliver my laundry. And I have to say I prefer the greater privacy. Henry may have been fine with his paragon of a housekeeper always lurking about, but I was not raised that way.

H.R. updated.

It has occurred to me that to do a real update of The Private Papers of Henry Ryecroft, the contemporary subject should be undergoing gender reassignment rather than receiving a bequest. You would have painful reminiscences of the bad old days before surgery and hormones, followed by the reports of the bliss of finally being the person he or she had always dreamed of being. I’m not the one to write it, but it would be so perfect.

A cultural update.

While I was shockingly slow to notice the fashion trend of short shorts, as the weather has grown cooler I have noticed that my favorite short skirt-over-tights look is giving way to tights worn with a longish blouse. No complaints here.

Next: Winter IV. London fog.